When I took a sabbatical in 2017 for three months, I knew that I would end it with early retirement. I just couldn’t go on. My grief was overwhelming and I needed time to simply be…. be with my wife, my children, my grandchildren. I needed to grieve.
I did so. Over the next three years (actually about 3 1/2 years) I put my family as a priority; I put my grief as a priority. It was time well spent and I’ll always be grateful that I was able to do so. Now, as I look back, I know that what I did doesn’t happen often. Not many people get to prioritize like I did. We live in a dysfunctional world that is easily seen if one looks. Our society denies death, looks askance at those who openly grieve and finding a way through all of this is a challenge. But thanks to my wonderful family and Bishop C. Andrew Doyle I was able to do that.
My journey has been both difficult and incredible. My life and heart are healing. If the Church of the Holy Apostles in Katy would have allowed me to have a three year sabbatical I would now be able to return. Of course, I jest because they couldn’t have done that but there is some good news here.
The year of the pandemic (or the 18 months or so) is drawing to a close for those who have been vaccinated. I noticed the change when I began to receive invitations to “supply” at a couple of different parishes in the Diocese of West Missouri, where I am licensed to function as a priest. Not only that, but when I found myself behind the altar again, I realized it was time to reenter ministry in a local parish. This was both a surprising and delightful discovery.
I am currently in conversation with a couple of other dioceses about the possibility of stepping into a new phase of ministry, what is called “interim-ministry.” I can go into depth about this later but suffice it to say that interim ministry is incredibly important as a way that a parish goes through the transition from Rector (or vicar) to Rector. Years ago I thought this might be an incredible way to give back to the church and it now looks like that might happen. I am grateful to be at this point.
I have been through most of the training that the Interim Ministry Network made available to me a couple of years before I left full-time ministry. I am looking forward to the possibilities ahead. In the meantime, I rediscovered books that I had obtained to learn more about the sophistication of such ministry and look forward to diving in. If you read this, please put me on your prayer list as I engage in discussion with those in the dioceses who have reached out.
Blessings to you and until the next time, I remain,
Faithfully,
Darrel+
Transitions of all kinds involve a period of grief. Your hard-won understanding of grieving is sure to bear fruit as you help parishes to ease from one set of conditions to another—to be ready to move forward again. All the best to you and them.
What a delightful thing for you to discover! Good luck to you.
That is really good news for you and the dioceses you are considering!Lynn Collins
Respect!
Interim work is an incredible responsibility and important work in the life of a parish. I too am grateful for the time you were allowed to grieve and heal. Here’s to a do new ministry and journey ♥️
How wonderful! I am so glad you were able to take the time to grieve and support your family and yourself.
I think some of the cultures that have a more open period of grief or even a set time, have it more right than we do. To be able to acknowledge what has happened and we are hurting from it.
When I look at these traditions, it gives the person grieving expected permission and also those who surround them permission to support them.
One of the dysfunctions, I believe is the false belief that we as men need to be strong. Grieving has nothing to do with a lack of strength, in fact, sharing grief is in my mind, incredible strength.
I am still so very sorry for your loss. But, I appreciate the journey through the dark that was forced upon you and your family against your will that allowed you to become more fully the person of wisdom and compassion you are.
I am 100% certain that your Son is extremely proud of you and all you have discovered on the path of pain.
Any Church or person that has you in their midst will be better for it.